Being a personal development guide and health advisor (great titles, aren’t they ?) , this is a subject, close to my heart. In the last decade, I have met and worked with a lot of potential champions entrapped in their own mind. Unbreakable stubborn blockages and fragmented logic are what cause this phenomenon. Yes, we are talking about finally and definitely decided, deeply imprinted, non-negotiable bad habits:
- I cannot wake up earlier
- I need my morning warm cup of milk
- I cannot say no to my buddies, to a Friday night out invitation
- I just love tortilla chips and ice-cream so much
- I cannot move into another city, I have all my friends and family here
I am fascinated about this phenomenon and very much interested in it, however, as this is not my expertise and not my major interest, I mostly give up on clients having these unchangeable issues. Why do I let them go ? Because, I have my own life, my own passions to follow and I hate repeating myself over and over again. I show the way, we discuss and practice it. Afterwards it is their choice to keep on with the good habits and keep improving.
I have been watching friends, ex-clients and family members for over 20 years. They have been asking the same questions, still not making the sacrifice. For instance, somebody having an acid reflux all the time and taking pills to control it, instead of looking for a solution what can completely eliminate it. Giving up on morning Nutella toast, the midday airport-triangle sandwich and the evening shot of whisky would be sound, but he pops the pill. Or somebody in his early thirties who completely destroyed his feet with bad footwear choice and now having excruciating hip pain. 2 years of intense and focused hard work would stop and turn that degeneration around, then he could live a 100% pain-free life, but he does all kind weird medical interventions like orthopaedic insoles and knee infiltration.
My wife lives with me, learns from me, kind of understands me, but she still has a lot of barriers. Right now an ankle problem, for almost 4 months. She just has to take care of it 4-5 times a day with massage, mobility work, compression, elevation and it would be gone in a 5 days. She treats it 3 times a week and it doesn’t get better and flares up regularly. My 2 cents : PRIORITIES ! If your own health is not your priority, well do what ever you want ! Don’t cry to me however, when you cannot finish a 2k run pain-free, cannot play with your children, cause you have high blood pressure and low back pain or have adult onset diabetes because of bad food choices.
I did not mention all of my childhood friends. We talk about 50+ kids. In the last 20 years all of them have been going through, yoyo dieting, relationship and early onset mid-life crisis. I mean year after year, just to return to their previous obesity and lifestyle habits, not moving forward one single step. 20 years of not changing anything, just going back and forth ! 20 years lost ! They should not give up, but living in an environment what is pulling you down and back is a difficult situation and without one sudden decision in a clear moment, you’ll get stuck for life !
The question is: why would you choose life long suffering and pain, instead of changing bad habits to good ?
Some answers this as simple laziness, but this one I do not accept ! Laziness comes from bad lifestyle habits. What can force a human, to not to act upon pain ? When somebody cuts his hand, he reacts immediately. First sharp pain signals arise, bleeding starts, then he washes it off, disinfects it, get a plaster on it, done. When life-limiting low-back disorder occurs, why do we seek a surgery instead of trying to look for solutions to cure it ? 75% of spine issues can be improved just by drinking more water. Instead of half a liter a day, you might have to ingest 2,5L, increase quality mineral-salt intake and then it is gone for life. Laziness comes from bad lifestyle habits. You don’t have the correct nutrition, hydration, sleep and other lifestyle factors, to get your brain react upon your body’s needs and work with and against external forces. When this is the case, very often chain reactions occur. Metabolic diseases followed by biomechanic and mental breakdown.
Genetic pre-disposition is your response ?
I give you my two cents on this misunderstood matter ! Genetic pre-dispositions need a trigger ! If there is non, nothing gonna happen ! Your grand mother had lung cancer, your mother had lung cancer, you say that you’re genes contain the code for lung cancer ? Are you crazy ? Interestingly people living in the same environment, eating and drinking the same, have the same exact lifestyle factors, do develop the same problems. Some families have generations of cancer going on, but when we pull out one member early on and install it into a completely different “cubicle”, a strange thing happen ! No cancer will develop ever ! As an example, if you were living under a 10000volt electric wire, eating Chirios for breakfast, wine tasting every weekend, sleeping late and stressing yourself about job assignments, you highly unlikely will stay healthy ! Some of you might, but not all of you ! However, if you had a normal job where you can go by walking or cycling, live out in the forest, drinking fresh spring water every day, pull your veggies out from the ground and butcher your own animals, walk to your local lake barefoot to spend time with your kids while fishing, expose yourself to sunshine and fresh air every day and so, unless there is hidden nuclear waste under ground, you will never ever develop sickness. If it still happens after you invested 1.000.000$ into this pristine life, we always find skeletons in the closet. Not necessarily in yours, but they are always there! A 24/7 wi-fi router on the other side of your bedroom wall, toxic mold exposure, azbest roof /wall insulation, water toxicity, underground electric lines and so.
My answer is in psychology, nutrition, hydration and sleep. Mind alteration. Chemical imbalances in the brain cause humans to disregard logic. I mean if you knew that eating crap made you obese, why would you not change ? Get some fish, spinach and sweet potatoes ! You don’t even have to eat less, just differently ! Why would you keep on eating fries, burgers, cupcakes with a coke flush ? Last day I made a sardine fish patté from swiss-chards, olives, avocados, bell pepper and fresh stingy nettles, wild thyme and salt. It costed like 3 bucks and lasted for 3 meals, dipping in all my raw veggies ! You always have the choice ! Always !!!
Environment, family and friends can also have a very exhausting negative impact on your decisions. – You cannot do this, – you already tried this, – I am not supporting you, you are alone in this, – you cannot leave this family, you have kids to take care of, – I am your wife, you must stay with me, – you’ll achieve nothing, don’t even try, – I know you, you are not like this, don’t be a hypocrite, – get another beer, come to party with us, – come spend the holiday together with friends and forget the family, it is only one week. Every single night you are out with friends, every single minute you spend arguing with your wife, can be turned into self-improvement. Don’t think that you cannot go out with your friends. The question is: will that time-out be self-constructing or self-destructive ? Playing bowling while getting drunk at midnight or setting up an afternoon bowling competition with epic discussions, then arriving 6pm at the dinner table with clear head, ready to engage in family life ?
Do not be ever discouraged by anybody. Get your health and education going and prove them wrong ! Prove everybody wrong if you had to !
Lack of passion, lack of goals
I think this “brain trauma” of not caring, not having logic, not reacting is most likely caused by the lack of goals, ambitions and motivation. The lack of real passion ! When you can dive into something with your whole heart and mind, get into that flow state, this is when magic happens, when you develop and master positive habits !
- – I ate bad yesterday, today I cannot practice my basketball skills !
- – I will focus from this moment on my nutrition to be able to practice every day !
- – I have developed a giant bulge on my big toe, because of office shoes, now I cannot hike, run and climb anymore !
- – I must do something immediately to be able to return to the mountains the soonest possible !
- – My eyesight is worsening, but I love computer programming !
- – I must get my nutrition and outdoor time dialled in, do some pilates and use a stand up work desk, obtain a high quality monitor, use protective glasses, sleep more and get to bed early, so I can build and maintain better neural connections between brain and eyes.
I think to cure addictive behaviours, regardless it is cocaine, alcohol, morning cereals, narrow shoes, quitting wife and changing job, selling a house, anything to trigger change; you need a real passion, a goal or a vision. Call it how you want. Without that, after some short bright sunshine, 100% of all people return to their old behaviours.
Right now, you might feel lost, you might feel alone and agitated, cause you don’t know yet what you really care about ! Do not necessarily think about something complicated like saving all the African children ! You can dedicate your life, to be an excellent dad ! Keeping that family together ! Or on the contrary, you can quit that wife who is damaging your self-esteem every single day and go on with your future plans alone ! I told my wife very long ago, that if anything negative happens between us, we will invest together as much hard work as possible to solve it, but if at the end it doesn’t work out, we go on our separate ways peacefully. Interestingly, after turning off the external noise and sitting down at the dinner table, everything can be discussed and solved in a couple of minutes ! I also assured my wife, that if I can get so emotionally detached from her, that I went out with another woman, something is already unrepairably broken, so we just stop right there. However, I am not even thinking about engaging in any compromising situations and I am exclusively looking for the companionship of my wife ! 90% of cheating happens in mind altered states like extreme fatigue and alcohol mixed with sensory excitement ! Read the book of Rob Wolf – Wired to eat, where he explains, how these unreal HD screens, porn, female clothing, advertisements, pheromone enriched perfumes can completely make you go crazy. In the morning when you wake up near someone else than your wife, you don’t even know what happened !
Don’t get compromised !
How to find your passion ?
Passion without health and education doesn’t exist ! You cannot know what you made for, if you don’t know, if that thing exists ! – I want to become a doctor, but I cannot go to the university, because I don’t have the time and the money ! You can however, start learning now, saving up money, renting unlimited quantity of books from the library for 1 dollar a month ! In everybody’s life, limited opportunities pop up here and there. If you cannot grab it because of missing knowledge, or you don’t even realise, when it’s there, you will surely not arrive to your destination ever ! If you’re gonna be a warrior with a goal, fight an uphill battle and never settle ! Is it not better to be driven by something till your deathbed and to have a purpose, than living an empty life set up by the society ?
I am not gonna over emphasise health here. You don’t have it, you cannot grab opportunities and cannot follow your passion ! I have focused my life on health for 2-3 years, I got it done, now it is automatic. Automatic, but still evolving ! I eat well, drink a lot of water, sleep well, turn off my wi-fi for the night, no phones or tablets in the bedroom, some cold showers, lot of yoga and pilates, some strength training, self massage and big talks with my wife. I can do my 1000+ hours of adventures year after year after year.
- Start and continue reading and educating yourself, to widen your sight, your knowledge
- Get your health 100% under control
- Write down small goals and work hard towards them
- Write down bigger, long-term goals and work hard towards them
- Don’t be afraid to make decisions and to face the consequences
- Don’t be afraid to fail
- Don’t be afraid to quit. You hate that book and it doesn’t interest you ? Start another one ! You hate living where you are now ? Look for a new place, a new city, a new continent ! You hate being in school where your father sent you to ? Quit, start working and rejoin another one later on, if that is what motivates you !
- If you did not find your own life’s meaning, your passion, your own holy grail yet, just keep on looking !
I am not a motivational speaker, nor a guru. I live by principles, to be able to follow my path I set out for myself. I want to be able to get out into the nature every single day, I want to develop a monstrous endurance, I want to develop myself as a human being to the highest possible level. I moved to a place what I love and where I can access mountains 24/7 in all 4 seasons, I have a lifestyle what builds me towards my future plans. I have a wife who I support and who supports me. We keep developing our relationship. There is no stagnation, but every single facet is in constant progression.
We are hungry for a change. No stubbornness, just open thinking ! Health is everything and without it you are dead. Without a healthy body, there are no healthy thoughts, neither healthy emotions ! No healthy goals, but mostly no goals at all ! No shortcuts in life !