Mental Fortitude – 101 – Control yourself


I wrote already articles about this subject. This is my motto too. I repeat it to myself in all situations. “MENTAL FORTITUDE !” You can do it too. Being head strong is crucial for life, for inner balance, for family harmony, for sports performance and for health.

For absolutely in-control decisions, we must understand one single fact. Humans are animals. Human behaviour is controlled by chemicals. Substances we absorbed from outside and substances what are created on the inside. Everything, from our freshness and readiness, our brain function, our concentration our responses to questions.

If we were short-tempered and can go to a rage against anything, yes there is a problem somewhere to be solved. There are people addicted to food and if they don’t get their dose as fast as possible, they get really angry. They get high and go on a road rampage.
Others feel bad, tired, lethargic all week-long, as they work inside during daylight hours and genetically their body uses up vitamin D faster than others. At weekends they are a lot brighter human. In-home mold toxicity, constant social media disturbance, regular traffic jam exposure, negative people, badly chosen idols and friends, sick colleagues and many more; these are attitude determining, behaviour altering factors.

We must control ourselves by getting in the necessary chemicals and by understanding that doing something important needs a certain human state.
Breathing is very important. 6 deep nasal diaphragmatic breaths and sighs can already alter brain function towards it’s better.

Find a nice place. Pull out from traffic. Pause, before you enter home and get “cheered-on” by your 3 children. Find a quiet place, maybe out on the Sun. Ensure that it would be free from ANY disturbance for at least 3minutes. Lay down. Sit down or lean on the wall with your back or by holding yourself against it with your forearms. Close your eyes. Keep a correct posture. Start breathing through your nose, to your belly. Slowly. Controlled but totally naturally. Let the air out by gravity. Pause in-between breaths if you feel it is more natural. I like box breathing as an exercise for relaxation, but in this particular case I prefer a 2-5-2-5 pause-breathe-pause-exhale ratio, rather than a 5-5-5-5 regular, rectangular breathing pattern.

That was the first part of the exercise. The second phase is asking yourself questions. You don’t have to solve hunger on earth here. Ask and answer questions. The three very first questions are always:

  • Am I hungry ? Did I sleep enough ? Did I hydrate well ?

Instead of being a couch mom front of the telly with a pizza dinner, after stepping through the door of shouting, crashing and crying, you can do otherwise. Grab a glass of water, eat an organic apple and go for a 10 to 15minute cat nap on an acupressure mat, with earplugs and a sleep-mask. (It is just an example !)

The second part is waking up, continue breathing, and asking other questions: Who am I ? Why am I a here ? What must I do ? What is my work right now? Why my behaviour is like this ? Is it correct or should I change it for better ? What are my responsibilities right now ? What were and are my decisions ?
You can develop your own questionnaire. You might not find answers to all of your questions, but if you asked, you were already conscious about some of your attitudes !
Then, you go and do what must be done with all the positivity !

To continue with the couch mom example. Instead of letting all hell break loose, you talk to your family, to understand the needs of all members. Maybe you organise the father with one kid, you with the other to do the homework. Grandma can cook. The dog is closed out. Instead of having the TV turned on as a background noise and you talk to each other during dinner.

The same thing can be applied to work.

  • Am I hungry ? Did I sleep enough ? Did I hydrate well ?

A small learnt and well applied 5 minute cat nap can be applied. A rib-steak, a double spoon of coconut oil, an apple a handful of cherries can be eaten. A giant glass of mineral rich water can be drank.

Why did I get angry to my colleague ? Why did I make that mistake ? Why is my boss behaving like this ? How is my posture in this chair ? Should I stand up more often ? I did not realise, but my shoes make my feet hurt, I must take it off and change it !

I small mind-empty then mind-full pause can change your life for ever. Every time you go through a disciplinary relaxation, you level-up ! Becoming a better human. Success builds upon success.

You must know yourself ! You must question yourself ! Inner talk is very important ! It is like SEX ! If you don’t know what is good for you, how others can do know ? If you don’t show a correct example, how others can show you what you want to see ? The emotions you give out, the emotions you get back !Meditation is not that Tibetan woowoo what only the monks can do. Meditation is passing time with yourself. It is self-discovery time !
Don’t worry if you don’t what questions to ask yourself ! Don’t worry if you don’t find answers !
The most important in this whole system is to understand that there is a problem and to acknowledge that it has to be dealt with ! Yes, sometimes problems cannot be solved, but should be still tried to be solved ! If you already know, that you must inner communicate and ask questions in certain situations, you are on the path !
Yes I said try, but Yoda said: Do, or do not there is no try ! Well, this has to be translated too ! When you put yourself on the road towards a goal, but you use only your present knowledge, you are actually not sure about the outcome. However you already are on the path and pick up bits and pieces on the way.

  • If you succeed, would you say you did it ?
  • If you did not succeed, would you say you tried it?
  • What would you say, if you did not succeed, but you kept it up ? Trying or doing it ?

Depends how you use certain mottos and motivational ‘clusters’, they can be very true and beneficial. However, when somebody just throws into your face, it can become an external, dogmatic, meaningless and self-disturbing factor.

This is why I find the work of Tony Robins and other motivational speakers fascinating. It works only on people who try to understand, who try to find, who are looking for and searching for. For what ? No matter ! You are on the good way to find it or at least find problems to be solved !

Mental Fortitude ! It is training ! It is to be practiced. It is constant work. It is a muscle. Use it or lose it !

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